How Much Does Surrogacy Cost With a Friend?

For many intended parents, surrogacy is a deeply personal and emotional decision. The idea of working with a friend as a surrogate mother can seem comforting, natural, and even cost-effective. But while using a friend may reduce certain fees, it doesn't mean surrogacy becomes inexpensive. There are still legal, medical, and psychological factors that contribute to the overall surrogacy cost—even when someone you trust is involved.

In this blog, we’ll explore the financial breakdown of pursuing the surrogacy process with a known surrogate, discuss legal and ethical implications, and share important considerations to help you make an informed choice.

What Is Surrogacy With a Friend?

Surrogacy with a friend, often referred to as “altruistic surrogacy,” is when someone you know voluntarily agrees to carry your child. This typically occurs in gestational surrogacy, where the embryo is created via IVF using either the intended parents' or donors’ genetic material. In some cases, traditional surrogacy may apply, especially when the surrogate uses her own egg—but this introduces more legal complexity.

While your friend may waive compensation, that doesn’t mean the journey is free. There are still costs to consider, as well as responsibilities that both parties must fulfill under surrogacy laws.


Major Costs to Consider in Friend-Based Surrogacy

Here’s a breakdown of expenses typically involved when using a friend as a surrogate:

1. Medical Expenses

You’ll need to cover all medical procedures for embryo transfer, fertility treatments, prenatal care, and delivery. This includes clinic visits, ultrasounds, medications, and IVF cycles. Even with a friend, these medical components can add up to $30,000–$60,000.

2. Legal Fees

Despite the personal relationship, legally binding surrogacy contracts are essential. Each party must have independent legal counsel to ensure the agreement is fair and enforceable. Legal fees can range from $5,000 to $15,000, depending on the jurisdiction.

3. Psychological Screenings

Ethical and safe surrogacy includes mental health screenings and counseling for both the surrogate and intended parents. These are especially important when working with someone close, to avoid emotional conflicts later in the surrogacy journey.

4. Insurance

Your friend’s current health plan may not cover maternity expenses for surrogacy. You may need to purchase specialized surrogacy insurance, which can cost an additional $10,000 to $30,000, depending on coverage and state requirements.

5. Agency and Coordination Services (Optional)

Even in friend-based surrogacy, you may still require a surrogacy agency to coordinate medical, legal, and emotional support. Some agencies offer à la carte services that assist with screening, paperwork, and matching you with professionals.


Is Surrogacy With a Friend Cheaper?

Yes—and no. If your friend is not seeking compensation, you may save tens of thousands of dollars compared to commercial surrogacy. However, the surrogacy cost still remains high due to medical, legal, and logistical needs. Additionally, it’s critical to maintain fairness and legality regardless of the relationship. Bypassing steps for the sake of budget may result in complications later.


Legal and Ethical Implications

Each state has different surrogacy laws, and skipping legal steps because the surrogate is a friend is not advised. A legal contract helps protect both parties and ensures parental rights are clearly assigned after birth.

Engaging in ethical surrogacy means safeguarding the emotional and physical wellbeing of everyone involved. Transparency, consent, and mutual respect are crucial, even more so when personal ties are involved.

You may also want to consider joining surrogacy support groups during the process. Talking to others who have walked the same path—particularly those with friend-based surrogacies—can offer guidance and perspective.


How This Impacts Different Families

For couples or individuals considering surrogacy for LGBTQ+ families, using a friend can be a more inclusive and comfortable option. Often, friends step forward to support same-sex or transgender couples in ways that are deeply personal and affirming. However, the same medical and legal steps apply to ensure smooth proceedings.


Surrogacy and Adoption: A Financial Comparison

When comparing surrogacy vs adoption, cost is often a major deciding factor. While adoption can be less expensive in some scenarios, it may also involve agency fees, legal steps, and long wait times. Surrogacy—especially with a friend—can offer more control over timing and genetics, but typically involves higher upfront expenses.


Can a Friend Be a Surrogate Internationally?

International surrogacy with a friend is rare and complicated. Legal frameworks vary by country, and immigration and citizenship issues can arise. If your friend lives abroad, consult with experts in

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